Love Potion
by MKRG
Summary: A mysterious ailment befalls the SGC, causing every man to fall madly in love with Vala. Can Daniel hold them back long enough to maintain his sanity? He'll have to acknowledge a few things in the process. Here's a DV comedy you'll enjoy.
1. What?

**Title: Love Potion**

A/N: So I came up with this one night and had to get it down before I lost it, like so many other good ideas I have. This was written in one big shot, but I split it into several chapters for everyone's sanity. You will find that these chapters vary in length significantly. I am very happy with how this turned out. I chuckle when I think about the scenes in this fic. I hope you do, too. I would love to hear what you think. So please, REVIEW!

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**Ch. 1**: What?

**Summary**: Mitchell and Teal'c are acting strange. Normally Vala would love this kind of attention, but not this kind of attention!

000

The mission to P4X-219 was hardly routine from the beginning. Cameron and Teal'c had been called to the Sodan homeworld and therefore didn't join the rest of SG-1. That left Daniel, Sam, and Vala to explore what was supposed to be an uninhabited planet with strange energy readings.

They never found the source of those energy signatures. But they did find a strange old woman with a smelly little home tucked away behind some dense foliage. Her house was filled with unlabeled bottles of liquids and powders in every conceivable color. Mortars and pestles littered her workspace along with several empty jars. She was obviously a chemist, but of what sort, Sam couldn't tell.

The old lady seemed harmless enough until she "accidentally" blew some sort of powder in Vala's face. Poor Vala began sneezing and coughing almost immediately. They had to scrap the mission and bring her home early. Dr. Lam cleared her and allowed her to roam freely around the base until the next mission. And that's when all of the problems started.

"Hey, Vala!" Cameron called down from the other end of the corridor.

She turned in time to see him sprinting toward her, with an eager smile on his face. She smiled warmly in return. "Mitchell, you're back. How did it go with the Sodan?"

"Oh, just fine, just fine. Listen, I was wonderin' if we could go grab some dinner and drinks at O'Malleys later."

Vala's eyes lit up in surprise. Usually Sam or Teal'c were the ones to tell her about a team outing. "Sure, I can go tell the others if you want."

"No no no, I was saying 'just you and me.' You know, alone?" He winked at her.

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Cameron Mitchell, are you asking me out on a _date_?" she asked in disbelief.

He smiled strangely and took one large step closer to her. "What else would I ask you?" he said in a low voice. As he stepped closer, she stepped back, stopping only when her back hit the wall of the corridor. Cameron placed his right hand on the wall high near her head to block her escape. His voice was deep and almost seductive as he added, "Then later I was thinking we could head to my place and spend some _quality_ time together." He grinned.

Vala didn't know what to do. This was the first time the Colonel had shown any sort of romantic interest in her. Her basic instincts told her to accept, but something in her heart held her back. "Uhhhh… I…"

"Mitchell!" a male voice called from a side corridor. "What are you doing?" It was Daniel Jackson.

The Colonel in question stepped back from Vala and turned to greet his teammate. "Oh, nothing, just talking." He began walking away. "Think about it, Vala! You'll know where to find me!" he yelled before turning a corner.

Daniel looked to Vala quizzically. She shrugged. "I think Mitchell just asked me out."

"What?"

They fell into stride together toward his office. "Yes, it was quite odd," she said. A small bubble of jealousy rose up in Daniel's stomach. He told himself it would be better if she didn't accept the Colonel's offer. Such a thing would risk screwing up the team dynamics. Or so he wanted to believe.

He smirked. Half-jokingly, Daniel asked, "So you gonna do it?"

Vala didn't answer for a few seconds. "Maybe…"

"Good," he said before realizing it. He expected her to say 'No.' "Wait. Maybe?" he whispered after her as she entered the office. Vala never heard him.

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After a tireless afternoon of helping Dr. Jackson translate Goa'uld text, Vala made her way to her room. She found Teal'c standing at her doorway with his hands hidden behind him. "Teal'c?" He had a strange look on his face.

"ValaMalDoran, I wish to give these flowers to you." The Jaffa pulled out a large, colorful bouquet from his back and held it out to her. A grin graced his features. She smiled and accepted them, not sure what they were for. "It is a Tau'ri custom to present flowers to a person of romantic interest. I have come to ask for your hand in marriage, ValaMalDoran," he said. It was just like him to get straight to the point.

Her ears barely registered the proposal. "Huh?"

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. Her eyes went wide as he leaned down to kiss her. "Teal'c! What the hell!" a male voice exclaimed.

Teal'c halted his approach toward her mouth and turned his head. "DanielJackson."

Vala wiggled out of his embrace and put the flowers back in the Jaffa's hands. She ran into her room. Teal'c didn't seem to notice. His arms were still hugging the air as if she was there. When Daniel ran up to him, he already looked confused. "What are you doing?" the archaeologist asked.

Teal'c blinked. He looked at his surroundings. Then he looked down at the bouquet. "I do not know," he said plainly. He stuffed the flowers in Jackson's arms. "I shall retire to my quarters." Daniel stared as his friend walked away. After a moment, he knocked on Vala's door.

She only opened it a few inches, wearily peering out to see her visitor. "Is he gone?" she whispered.

"Yes. Now would you please tell me what that was all about?"

Vala opened the door wider. She smiled at the flowers in Daniel's hands. "Why Daniel, you shouldn't have." She plucked them out of his hands and led him into her room. Placing them into a vase filled with water, she responded, "Muscles just asked me to marry him!"

"Oh my god. What did you say?" he asked, incredulous.

"Nothing! I didn't know what to say. He had the strangest look on his face. It was very unlike him."

"I'll say. Weird. First Mitchell, then Teal'c." Daniel shook his head.

She scoffed. "Excuse me, are you saying that I _shouldn't_ be approached by other men?" she asked, feigning insult.

"Uhhh, no no, I just thought it was strange that all of a sudden they would, you know… and so directly, too," he stammered. A pang of jealousy he couldn't quite explain struck his heart. 'Why can't I be more like them?' he asked himself, without knowing why.

"Yes, well, you're right about that. Something strange is certainly going on."

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TBC… Next time: More people fall victim to the same affliction as Mitchell and Teal'c. Daniel and Vala discover the cause. Trust me, this one is hilarious!


	2. Excuse me?

**Title: Love Potion**

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**Ch. ****2**: Excuse me?

**Summary**: Normally Vala would love this kind of attention, but not this kind of attention! More people fall victim to the same affliction as Mitchell and Teal'c. Daniel and Vala discover the cause.

000

The next day unsettled Vala. Nearly every man she spoke with had asked her out or worse. Mitchell and Teal'c continued their antics as well. Sam was nowhere to be found; she'd been sent to Area 51 for the week. Vala was finally called into General Landry's office that afternoon. Expecting to be scolded for the disruption to the base, she entered it cautiously. With a meek smile, she made her presence known. "General Landry?" All she saw was the back of his chair.

He spun around, revealing the guitar ready in his hands and the straw hat atop his head. The sight was incredibly funny, and Vala began to giggle. She stopped when he strummed on the guitar.

Later on, she ran into Daniel's office and locked the door behind her. Breathing heavily and leaning against it, she answered his inquiring look. "General Landry just sang me a sonnet to express his undying love to me."

Daniel burst out laughing uncontrollably. He laughed until tears were streaming down his face and his stomach hurt. And even then, he still giggled a little at her joke. But it wasn't a joke. He could tell by her posture that she was dead serious. That sobered him a little. "Oh. You're telling the truth."

By that point, Vala had sunk down to the floor and was leaning her head on her knees. She lifted her head to look at him. "Of course it's the truth!" She was visibly shaken by the rather humorous ordeal.

"Obviously, something weird is happening here."

"Daniel, I thought we established that yesterday."

He scrunched his face. "Right. Well, has anyone else been acting strange besides Mitchell, Teal'c, and the General?"

"I think the more appropriate question would be: How many people, or rather men, have approached me with incredible proposals of love and lust?" Vala stood and crossed her arms. She leaned back on the table.

"Okaaay. Then how many?" Daniel shoved his hands in his pockets as he stood near her.

"Well, let's see…" She held up her hands and began counting on her fingers. "There's Mitchell, Teal'c, Landry… the three marines in the commissary… the two SFs in the Gate room… Walter…"

"Wait a minute. Walter?"

"Yes, darling. Now shhhh, I'm trying to count." She continued using her fingers. "Hmmm… There was Dr. Lee, then his assistant, oh and that assistant's assistant… I'm forgetting one." Daniel gaped at the number of people she had just listed so nonchalantly. "Ahh! Siler. Yes, he's the other one. So that makes thirteen."

"Thirteen." He couldn't believe it.

"Thirteen," she repeated.

"THIRTEEN?!"

She wilted a little at his shout. "Yes, darling. See? I told you something crazy is happening!"

Daniel pulled his hands out of his pockets and slapped his forehead. He ran them through his messy hair in disbelief. "When did all of this start happening?"

"Just yesterday, when you first caught Mitchell. Right after we got back from… oh no."

"Uh oh."

"You don't think…"

"That crazy old woman!"

"I knew she was wonko!"

Daniel grabbed her hand. "Come on, we need to go back there and find out what she did to you." They ran through the halls toward the Control room. Daniel ran in first, "General, we need to go back to P4X-219!"

Landry didn't quite hear him. He was busy paying attention to a scuffle between two SFs down in the Gate room. They were throwing some serious punches. No one had moved to stop them. In fact, Landry was egging them on through the microphone. Vala started, "What in the Ancients' name…"

As if her voice could penetrate the thick glass of the Control Room, the two offenders below looked up. They spotted her within an instant. Both of them turned and began addressing her, sending swooning love songs her way. Landry and Walter noticed her presence, too. They grinned eagerly at her. She began to back away. "Vala," Walter said as he stood up and moved toward her with Landry, "I'm so glad to see you. I'd love to take you out some time."

"Not a chance, son, she'll be with me."

"Sir, with all due respect…" Walter continued. They went on like that as Vala sent a pleading look toward Daniel. He held back his laughter and sat down in Walter's chair to dial P4X-219. The two of them escaped the base unnoticed.

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TBC… Next time: A shorter chapter. Daniel and Vala find the old woman who started this deliciously funny mess and get some answers.


	3. The Love Doctor

**Title: Love Potion**

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**Ch. ****3**: The Love Doctor

**Summary**: Daniel and Vala find the old woman who started this deliciously funny mess and get some answers.

000

Vala and Daniel burst into the old woman's home. Strange smells were emanating from another room, supposedly the kitchen. Daniel could almost see the odor as a green gas flowing through the house. Vala heard humming and followed the sound to the homeowner.

"Ahhh, you have returned, dear child," she observed without turning. She hovered over a large black cauldron situated over a fire pit. She stirred the thick concoction inside with a large wooden spoon.

"I demand to know what you have done to me!" Vala yelled at the old lady's back.

"Dear child, there is no need for such a tone. You may simply ask me and I will answer."

Daniel gave Vala a scolding look for offending the old lady. "What, Daniel?" she whispered.

He shook his head. "May we ask, then, what exactly is happening to Vala? The men in our world are acting very strangely toward her."

The old woman set her ridiculously large wooden spoon down next to the pot. She turned slowly, her aching bones preventing her from doing anything with a fast pace. She smiled, revealing a serious lack of dental care in recent years. "And how are _you_ feeling, my dear?" she asked, gesturing toward Daniel.

"Me? I feel fine."

"You have not felt the urge to love this dear child in the same manner as others?"

Daniel stole a look at Vala. She squinted at him. "Well, uhh, no," he admitted.

"Hmm."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Vala demanded.

The old woman bared her few remaining teeth again. "You were accidentally sprayed with a very special mixture of mine," she confessed. "I am quite proud of it. And to hear that it has been so effective only proves my work to be worthy." Vala circled her hands as a sign for the old lady to hurry it up. "Many come to me through the Great Circle seeking kinship and love. It is my specialty to provide potions that reveal such things."

Both of them were visibly confused. Vala leaned into Daniel's ear. "She's definitely wonko." He shushed her.

The old woman went on, not hearing this exchange. Hell, she may not have even seen it. "The potion I gave you causes men to desire you. Only those who already desire you will remain in control of their minds."

Daniel ignored her last comment, hoping Vala didn't notice it. "Is there a way to reverse this 'potion'?"

"Of course, child. I need only concoct the antidote."

Vala clapped her hands together. "Wonderful! We'll just sit over there and wait then. Let us know when you have enough to cure at least twenty-five people."

"Twenty-five?" Daniel clamored.

"Yes, darling. Obviously I am irresistible, and clearly more men will fall to my charms." She cocked her head and flashed him a mischievous grin. Daniel rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Dear child, so youthful and naïve. Such an order will take several days to create!"

"What," they said in unison.

"Yes," she replied simply.

Vala buried her face in her hands. "Oh Daniel, what am I going to do?" He looked at her sympathetically.

The old woman's eyes twinkled. "There is a way to slow the effects of the potion until a more permanent antidote is prepared," she offered. But what she had in mind hardly amused Daniel at all. As they walked back to the gate, Vala was nearly skipping with glee. Daniel trodded slowly behind, weary of her.

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TBC… Next time: Daniel and Vala make use of the "temporary solution" that the old woman suggests. But how _temporary_ is temporary?


	4. Temporary Solution

**Title: Love Potion**

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**Ch. ****4**: Temporary Solution

**Summary**: Daniel and Vala make use of the "temporary solution" that the old woman suggests. But how _temporary_ is temporary?

000

When they re-entered the SGC, a crowd had gathered to meet them. This was much more than the defense team that normally stood ready to shoot. All thirteen of Vala's original "men" were waiting at the base of the ramp, plus many more recognizable faces from around the base.

As soon as Daniel passed through the gate, their smiles faded a little. He eyed them nervously, noting that some had weapons conveniently holstered at their sides. "Uhhhh, hi."

"Daniel?" his radio clicked. "Daniel, is it safe to come through, yet?" Those who heard her voice regained their grins.

"Ummm, I don't think we have a choice. You've got quite a welcoming party here."

"What? Let me see." Vala stepped through the gate to meet her followers. "Oh, dear gods," she muttered.

Mitchell pushed his way to the front of the swarm. "Vala, where you been! Had me worried sicker than a squirrel with rabies."

Teal'c pushed past him. "ValaMalDoran. Have you accepted my proposal for marriage? I have already found a suitable living space outside of this base for us to consummate our nuptials."

Vala let out a nervous laugh. "I think now would be a good time, Daniel," she said anxiously.

"Are you sure about this? I think the old woman was just pulling your leg."

"That's preposterous, Daniel. She never laid a hand on me!"

He shook his head. She didn't understand his Earth saying. Vala grew more alarmed as Mitchell and Teal'c began leading the crowd up the ramp toward them. She grabbed onto Daniel's arm and drew close to him. Something about their insatiable hunger for Vala reminded Daniel of Resident Evil, only without the dead zombies. He had to admit, this was starting to alarm him, too. All of the men were talking at once, and all of them were trying to convince Vala to choose them.

Somehow, Silar monkeyed his way to the top of the Stargate and lunged at them. He missed. The accident-prone fellow fell in the space between the crowd and Vala. "I'm okay!" he stammered from his place on the ramp.

Daniel held up his hands. "Gentlemen. Guys. People! Vala and I are an item! Have been for some time now!" he lied.

Vala turned her head to him. "I don't think it worked, darling," she said through gritted teeth. The crowd slowly snaked toward them.

Daniel kissed Vala on the cheek to prove his lie. Still no effect. "Desperate times," he told himself as he kissed her lightly on the lips. Her mouth smiled back at him. A few gasped and Mitchell and Teal'c halted their ascent up the ramp.

Mitchell and Teal'c looked at each other, then back at them. "Awww, come on you guys. Quit foolin' around. Vala, how 'bout that date?"

Eyes wide in fear, she grabbed Daniel's head with both hands and laid her lips on his. She demanded entry into his mouth with her tongue, and he reluctantly allowed it. Her kiss was desperate and strong. It ignited something in him that he didn't know was there. Desire.

He gingerly lowered his hands to her waist and turned her so that her back was to the crowd. While continuing to kiss, his eyes opened to investigate the sudden silence. The men had stopped dead in their tracks. Their faces were blank. He lightly pushed off of Vala's mouth and gaped at the crowd. She, however, kept her eyes closed, mouth slightly upturned in a little smile of satisfaction. 'Yes,' she thought, 'just like I remembered.'

Daniel interrupted her thoughts. "I think it worked," he breathed.

Surprised, she turned to look. It had indeed worked. The men just stood there, now looking dazed and confused. General Landry was the first to speak. "What are you all doing!" he bellowed. "Back to work!" The crowd scattered, leaving Daniel and Vala alone on the ramp. They looked at each other in amazement.

"I wonder how long this will last," Daniel said.

"Not long, I hope." She winked, hinting at her usual agenda with him.

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Vala's wish came true. Their temporary solution had already worn off by morning. When Vala answered the knock on her door, a swarm of bachelors were there, swooning over her as before. She quickly slammed it shut in their faces. Through the door, she could hear someone struggling with the rest of them. Her door reopened and Daniel Jackson slipped through, closing it again to keep out unwanted guests.

"Whew," he said as he wiped his brow. "What a nightmare out there."

"You're telling me." She sighed. "You know, if it wears off this easily, we might have to hang around each other all day."

"I thought of that."

"You ready?"

He sighed as well. "Yeah." They faced the door as he placed an arm around her shoulder. The door swung open. The little crowd that had gathered there observed Daniel Jackson in a sensual lip-lock with Vala Mal Doran. They dispersed almost immediately.

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TBC… Next time: Things heat up as the base begins to fall apart under Vala's spell. Little examples of just how _helpful_ Daniel Jackson can be. ::squeal!::


	5. Did Someone Turn Up the Heat?

**Title: Love Potion**

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**Ch. ****5**: Did Someone Turn Up the Heat?

**Summary**: Things heat up as the base begins to fall apart under Vala's spell. Little examples of just how _helpful_ Daniel Jackson can be.

000

Base operations were seriously affected. General Landry even suspended gate activity until he could reconnect with his beloved Vala. The women on base couldn't help but notice that the men acted strange the minute Vala walked into the room or even passed by in a corridor. It was as if they could detect her scent. None of the women understood it and some were alarmed, but no one dared to go over General Landry's head.

No matter how hard Daniel tried to explain the situation to Landry or his teammates, they still ignored his pleas for self-control. It was as if they never heard him say that they were under the influence of a witch's spell. And there was still no word from the old woman about the antidote.

He and Vala walked down yet another hallway. Sgt. Silar approached them from the other end. "Uh oh," Daniel said. "Monkey-boy is back." He pulled Vala into an embrace and kissed her lightly on the lips. It was oh-so-sweet for her. The Sergeant turned on his heels and walked the other way.

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Daniel sat at his desk studying an artifact and taking notes. Through his open door, he heard footsteps and a few shouts of undying devotion. Vala ran in and cowered next to him in fear. A set of three marines followed her in. They had the goofiest smiles on their faces. Daniel pulled Vala down onto his lap, leaned her back, then kissed her passionately in front of the men. They left the room without a word.

The two unlocked their lips. Vala stood up. "Thanks."

"No problem." She left the room. Daniel went back to work.

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Daniel and Vala sat across from each other in the commissary. They munched away happily, glad to see only women in the room. A few of them eyed Dr. Jackson, wondering how he managed to receive all of Vala's attention when all other men received none. Dr. Lee and his assistants strolled in for lunch and immediately caught sight of the former space pirate.

Daniel didn't give them a chance to greet her. He leaned over the table to give Vala a quick peck on the lips. They blinked, looked at their surroundings, then got in line with lunch trays. Vala giggled.

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Some men required more of a show than others. Often, the ones who worked closely with Vala were those men. Thus, General Landry, Colonel Mitchell, and Teal'c were difficult to pacify. Individually. When all three of them came running toward Vala from the other end of a corridor, Daniel nearly panicked.

Mitchell started, "Oh Vala! How 'bout that date, beautiful!"

Teal'c continued, "I await your answer to my proposal, ValaMalDoran."

And Landry ended, "Vala, I ordered the kitchen to prepare a special meal for the two of us!"

The woman in question let out another one of her nervous laughs. She was doing more of that lately. Anger overcame Daniel as he observed these three suitors trying to take away his girl. 'Since when was she _my_ girl?' he wondered in his head. When the pack drew nearer, the alpha male in Daniel emerged.

He pushed her on the wall aggressively and grabbed her hands, holding them up above her head. His mouth attacked hers with a desire and desperation she had never felt from him before. The rest of his body trapped hers against the wall. The sensation of being dominated by this hungry man aroused her. She responded by kissing back harder and snaking her leg up his thigh. A small moan escaped from the foray of tongues lashing about in their mouths.

Daniel felt a tap on his shoulder. He ignored it for the moment. Vala's hands had escaped their prison and were sneaking up his shirt to gently massage his back. It felt so good.

"Uhhh, Daniel?" Mitchell asked.

They didn't stop kissing.

"Dr. Jackson, do you mind?" Landry asked with an annoyed tone.

Daniel freed a hand and swatted at them like flies. His mouth remained locked on Vala's. She moaned in pleasure. She broke the kiss and began sucking on his earlobe, making sure it was the side that all three spectators could see. Daniel's mouth hung open, savoring her touch. His hands began to roam freely.

Teal'c blinked, then Mitchell, then Landry. They looked around, then at each other, barely noticing the two people making out on the wall. Confused, they muttered greetings and apologies and walked off in different directions.

The sound of footsteps retreating signaled the end to this show. Reluctantly, Daniel pulled away, licking his lips. He could still taste her. Vala rested her head back on the wall and breathed in deeply. She let out a deep sigh as a smile crept onto her lips. When her eyes fluttered open, Daniel had disappeared.

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TBC… Next time: Daniel and Vala's public displays of affection intensify. Sam returns. The base finally gets relief.


	6. No Hands to Yourself

**Title: Love Potion**

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**Ch. ****6**: No Hands to Yourself

**Summary**: Daniel and Vala's public displays of affection intensify. Sam returns. The base finally gets relief.

000

The old woman still had not contacted them about the antidote. Vala was beginning to wonder if she would have one at all. She feared leaving the base or going off-world. It seemed that every eligible bachelor on base was affected by her now. And any married or otherwise-taken man seemed oblivious to the situation brewing on base. No one on the outside world knew what had been going on for more than a week now.

Daniel and Vala fell into a comfortable routine. He picked her up in the mornings, lest another mob swarm at her door. He kept her with him at all times now, except when he had to use the facilities, which left a very nervous Vala standing just outside the men's room. Then he would drop her off at her quarters, kiss her good night, and be on his way.

The need to show public displays of affection only grew more frequent and more intense. It seemed that this potion or whatever it was would get worse before ever wearing off. This worried both of them to no end. Base operations were beginning to suffer. Men spent more time cooking up ways to win Vala's heart than working.

Sam was due to return soon, much to Daniel's relief. She would know what to do. But in the meantime, they had to keep up their charade. Curiously, though, it was starting to feel less like a charade and more like the real thing. Daniel marveled at their situation.

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Vala moaned lightly. He was kissing her again. Gone were the days when simple pecks on the lips would do. Full blown kisses were the trick now. And she loved it. The SFs in the Gate room could only stare as Daniel expertly devoured her mouth. They blinked and walked away.

He didn't stop. They kept going for another five minutes.

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Daniel dipped her and began kissing her neck. Vala's hands started to roam. Walter blinked and went back to his station in the Control room. Daniel sat in the chair next to him. She straddled him, intensifying their kiss. Walter didn't notice them grinding a little. Just a little.

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Day Fourteen. Sam was due back today.

In her favorite move, he had pinned her on the wall again. Daniel's hands rested on Vala's bottom and squeezed gently. She let out a squeal in his mouth. He smiled and did it again, eliciting the same response a second time. They giggled. Her hands snaked up his shirt and massaged his back. Daniel and Vala remained locked in a fiery kiss.

Jack O'Neil just stood there, grinning like an idiot. This was not the Daniel he had left behind.

Daniel's hands left their perch on Vala's ass and began playing with the hem of her tight black shirt. Ever so slowly, he began pulling it up. Jack's eyes went wide at the sight of her midriff. The man was going to _do_ her right here out in the open! Now this he just could not allow.

He coughed. Daniel swatted at the air, silently telling whoever it was to go away. This simply shocked the General. "Daniel."

His friend recognized the voice and turned his head. "Jack." Vala would have none of this and used a hand to forcefully bring his face back to hers. They continued their make-out session.

"Daniel."

"Jack," he mumbled back through the kisses.

"Daniel? Vala!" Sam screamed. She joined Jack and stared at this incredible display.

At the sound of her voice, both of them stopped and looked. A smile spread across Vala's face. "Hi, Sam. We missed you!" She remained in Daniel's embrace.

"Hey, Sam. Good to see you."

"Daniel, I didn't know you had it in you!" Jack quirked an eyebrow at him. Sam slapped him on the arm.

Daniel was about to let Vala out of his arms when they heard General Landry's voice. "Vala! There you are. I've got this wonderful restaurant picked out for the two of us. And I've arranged for a jet to take us to whatever location on Earth you please. I hear Hawaii's nice this time of year."

"Hawaii, Hank?" Jack asked.

"Sir?"

"Oh boy." Daniel began kissing Vala hungrily again. She instinctively had her leg creep up his side in a sexual gesture.

Landry blinked. He looked around, then walked away. Jack and Sam stood there, open-mouthed and amazed. Teal'c came around soon after. He walked up to Vala, barely noticing the audience or Daniel, for that matter. "ValaMalDoran, I await your answer to my proposal."

"What proposal, T?"

Teal'c barely glanced at Jack as he answered, "For marriage."

"WHAT!?"

In response to Teal'c's presence, both Daniel and Vala's hands began to roam. They pressed themselves even closer together than Sam thought humanly possible. Teal'c blinked, then left.

Vala finally broke the mad saliva exchange. "Is he gone?" Sam and Jack could only nod. "Good." The couple broke apart. Daniel kept a protective arm around her waist. When Jack took a step closer, Daniel held up a hand in alarm.

"Oh no you don't. You're going to turn out just like the rest of them if you get any closer."

"Darling, don't you think he would have been affected by now?"

Daniel thought for a moment. "Yeah, you're right," he said suspiciously. "It must be because Sam's here."

"Oh yes, that's right. Secret loves must count as well." She nodded in affirmation to her own statement.

"What the HELL is going on here!" Sam and Jack yelled in unison.

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The old woman had finally come up with enough antidote to cure the entire base. Daniel, Sam, and Jack administered it to everyone while Vala remained isolated. The mere sight of her could reverse everything before it had a chance to be fixed.

Every single man remembered everything, much to Jack's amusement. General Landry avoided eye contact with Vala for days. Mitchell mumbled unintelligible apologies to her. Teal'c remained deathly silent. Everyone else avoided her like the plague, whereas just a week ago, they longed to be by her side. That suited her just fine. She had had enough of men for a lifetime.

Nobody on base would allow any more public displays from Daniel and Vala. It was strictly forbidden after all that they had witnessed. (Though Jack begged to see another show before he left.) And frankly, it was a relief. Daniel's lips felt sore. Thankfully, the base simply acknowledged that they were a genuine couple. General Landry neither had the authority nor the balls to object.

Daniel and Vala savored their privacy now. Kissing was so overrated. They found other ways to entertain themselves when they were alone. Showing affection was no longer a defense mechanism, it was a downright pleasure.

FIN

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A/N: Wow! It's done! Did you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing this? I hope so! Let me know what you think – I love reading your reviews. And special thanks to all those who have reviewed thus far!


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